Dating today is a curious institution. It is said to be a meeting of equals, yet it runs more like a peculiar tax system. Guy pay. Females dine. Cupid gathers a service charge.
In generations past, this made sense. A guy courted a woman, she became his better half, and they both resolved right into the long-lasting adventure of saying about drapes. The expense of dinners was just the down payment on wedlock.
Now? Currently dating is a marathon, not a sprint. One have to sustain a ceremony of first dates, second days, half-dates, and “let’s simply order a drink” dates. And in our contemporary scripture, each of these experiences calls for a sacrifice from the male’s purse– no matter whether love blossoms or dies in the very first five minutes.
The cruelest spin is that men commonly know fairly early when there is no connection. In some cases promptly. Yet still, we are bound by the spiritual social rule: Thou Shalt Pay the Examine.
Therefore we do. Happily at first, hesitantly afterwards, bitterly by the sixth round. By the 7th, we begin to suspect that modern-day dating is not love at all however a fancy pyramid system.
On the other hand, females– God honor them– have no such deterrent. Why not take place as lots of dates as feasible? There is nothing to lose and, occasionally, steak to get. I once invited a lady for “beverages and appetizers,” just to enjoy her order the filet mignon, a side of lobster tail, and the treat menu as if auditioning for an eating competitors.
This is the type of minute that makes a male reconsider ever asking anyone out once again. Which, obviously, leads women to whine that men are hesitant, secured, commitment-phobic. And hence the wheel rotates on: men cautious of being used, women discouraged at males’s reluctance.
A vicious circle, disguised as courtship.
Now, I am not recommending that ladies conspire in this knowingly. Lots of are really unaware of the toll. However lack of knowledge does not stabilize the checkbook. The result coincides: males feel like overworked bankers, women feel unwanted, and dating itself becomes a bleak sport in which no one really wins.
The remedy, I believe, is straightforward. Not completion of generosity, however the end of presumption. A woman need not pay each time. She need only provide, best regards, every now and then. The motion alone is worth greater than the bill. It transforms commitment right into option.
For males do not dislike investing cash on romance. We feel bitter spending money on futility. On nights that end with polite handshakes and “all the best out there.” On steaks gotten under the pretense of “simply a beverage.”
If dating is to survive, it should lose its outdated economics. Men and women should share the costs of failure along with the delights of success. Otherwise, dating will stay what it so commonly seems like today: a pricey lottery game where the house always wins, and the players grow ever before a lot more sick of getting tickets.